Chapter meeting for May
Happy May!

Hope nobody got bitten by rabid animals on St. Walpurgisnacht yesterday. St. Walburga (May 1) is the patron against rabid animals, but her feast day also coincides with earlier pagan May Day festivals like Beltane, which involved orgies and animal sacrifice. Sister Jean presumes that her association with rabid animals comes from the nutty behavior of the pagans at this time of year.

If you're of a pagan turn, rent the cult classic, "The Wicker Man," from your DVD provider. Features the inimitable Christopher Lee as the pagan priest.

May Day is also an important celebration for Communists worldwide, including ailing dictator Fidel Castro (speaking of rabid animals), who was unable to appear at yesterday's May Day parade in Havana. The Sisters pray for Senor Castro, of course, who raised literacy rates and reduced infant mortality to enviable levels, but whose notions of personal liberty were somewhat impoverished. Moreover, as Cuba's economy continues to dip, many young Cuban women are pursuing careers in the lucrative sex trade. So we also pray for the day when the U.S. government will normalize relations with Cuba and perhaps improve standards of living there.

Sorry for that sidetrack rant on Cuba.

Also associated with St. Walpurgisnacht is one of Sister Jean's favorite plays, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" As you all know, this Edward Albee play is about a marriage that has gone so haywire that one of the episodes is called "Walpurgisnacht," a scene in which the couple, George and Martha, pull out all the stops in emotional self-destruction. Rent the film version with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Bound to make you feel better about your current--or even ex--spouse.

OK, enough about rabid dictators and marriages, from which we ask St. Walburga's protection.

Three other big saints this month (see links at right). Sister Jean's favorite, St. Julian of Norwich, who kept cats in her hermitage and so is the Sisters' unofficial patron of pet cats; St. Isidore the farmer, for whom angels would do the ploughing while he was busy praying; and St. Brendan the Voyager, whose seafaring trip to Heaven and back again is a strange and wonderful tale worth reading.

Sadly, St. Brendan would have found less ice around the northern seas than he did over a thousand years ago. Bad news on the polar ice cap front prompts the Sisters to ask for your prayers. As St. Julian says, "God made us, God loves us, God protects us." But the politicians need a boot up the fanny from us now and again.

Check the Lectionary link in a few days for Sister Jean's book report on "Five for Sorrow, Ten for Joy," a new-old Rumer Godden book about nuns!

Chapter meeting for April

Now that we've got Easter out of the way (see our Refectory for an easy key lime Easter pie recipe), it's time to think spring. Which is fairly difficult seeing as how the Mother House is under a couple inches of snow so that it's going to be impossible even to get the peas in.

While we're waiting for the thaw, this is a good time to read about our Animal Friends for April, Sts. Guthlac and Drogo (check 'em out at right under the Kalendar).

Guthlac is one of Sister Jean's favorite saints. A former solider and mercenary, St. G. finally snapped on the battlefield one day and headed off to the monastery to atone for his sins. He started a monastery in the English fen country and lived mostly as a hermit, in fasting and prayer. Apparently, God thought he'd gone a bit overboard, because the crows in the area would bring him food to keep him going, hence the name of his establishment was Crowland--or Croyland of today.

Crows, as we know, are somewhat marginalized creatures, associated with blood and carrion. They were harbingers of ill luck. But it says somewhere in the Bible that "God protects even the ravens," which the Sisters take to mean all the marginalized and unloved.

April is also the month that Chaucer's pilgrims took the road to Canterbury (they must have had nicer weather then), staying at inns and convents along the way. Co-Foundress and Internet Porteress Sister Shari notes that you can make like Chaucer and stay at convent "hotels" right today! Check it out and "get thee to a nunnery."

Before you leave the Virtual Convent, please stop by our Prayer Room and offer up something for Sister Polly Flo's Syd, who finally succumbed to old age, and Sister Carrie's Mr. Noodle, a stray she was feeding who was hit by a car.

Remember, this is the season when stupid pet owners let their unneutered and unspayed animals roam, and that's why we have so many homeless pets. Raise awareness about this issue with everyone you meet.

Emergency chapter meeting, March 23
Pet food recall

The Sisters are still monitoring reports about rat poison in pet food that has killed several dogs and cats around the nation.

A list of suspect food can be found on the FDA's Web site along with some helpful links.

It appears that canned food is the biggest culprit, but it only takes a few seconds to check the list to make sure you're food isn't on the list--or to make sure you don't inadvertently buy or use food in your pantry that may be on the hit list.

Chapter meeting for March

It's Lent, in case you haven't been paying attention. Time to put aside the things of the world and ask how you can be a better person and, if not, at least have sense enough to feel guilty about it.

Sister Jean is trying not to eat animals during this penitential season. Find out how she's doing with her Lenten diary over at the Refectory (click at right). Get weekly recipes for meatless dishes. If you don't like them, tough luck. Lent isn't supposed to be fun.

Also check out our prayer for Lent in the Prayer Room (click at right).

Don't forget to honor St. Gertrude, patron saint of cats! Check out her story from the Kalendar (right) of Our Animal Friends in Heaven.

Finally, Sister Shari has provided some links for edifying reading, to be posted in the next couple of days in the Lectonary.

Chapter meeting for February

Winter has finally arrived here at the Virtual Mother House, and as the temperatures dip into the single digits, our hardiest Animal Friends are the crows. Sister Jean marvels always at the ability of crows to sit on a wire in a sub-zero windchill looking for carrion, or chipping frozen bits of same into bite sized morsels on the pavement. A lesson in endurance for all us human animals!

Clearly St. Mildburga is looking out for them as well as all birds of which she is patroness. Check out her Web site linked at right. The Sisters urge you to thank God for the birds among our Animal Friends, and to scatter some bird seed on Feb. 23.

All of us here at the Mother House are looking forward to nuns on TV when "Sisters in Selma" airs on PBS (check your local station for times). The show promises to be an inspiring account of the nuns who joined Dr. Martin Luther King and other civil rights workers during the 1960s.

Sr. Shari reports that her new carpet looks nice, but Bob and ReBob, the hired painters left some things in a big mess and then had the gall to imply they might have done a better job if one of the Bobs had not had an allergic reaction to Sr. Shari's two cats, Annie and Snickers, who were in the basement the whole time. Sr. Shari is rightly disgusted with this sort of "half-assery" (her word, not mine, but I plan to start using it right away to cover any number of situations starting with Iraq).

The Sisters are praying for a lot of people and animals right now. Please join us over in our Prayer Room (click right), and add yours to the bunch. There's also a nice prayer for all occasions from St. Brigid, patroness of cattle and close personal friend of St. Patrick.

In our Lectionary, you can check out our latest book, "The Secret Life of Bees," in honor of St. Modomnoc, patron of same (bees, not books).

We also invite you to the Refectory (click right) for a nice cup of tea with St. Brigid's cream and hot buttered scones with St. Modomnoc's honey.

Chapter meeting for January

Happy New Year!

You may be wondering where the chapter meetings for November and December went. Sadly, they ran afoul of Christmas, as so many things do.

Highever, we're back on track now, and looking forward to a saint-filled January that begins with St. Basil the Great. St. Basil's prayer in praise of creation, including our animal friends, is offered in our Prayer Room (link at right), and you can celebrate St. Basil's day with a nice St. Basil's basil pesto dish, now being served in our Refectory, with and without Italian sweet sausage.

If you're dieting on account of all those Christmas cookies, skip the Refectory and join in the "Let all that breathe Jehovah praise" singalong that can be found in our Hymnal (right).

Other saints of note in January include St. Dwynwyn, the "St. Valentine of Wales." Check out links to these saints at right.

The Feast of the Epiphany is coming up next week. Anglicans celebrate it Jan. 6, marking the end of the 12 Days of Christmas, which is about 11 days too long if you ask the Sisters. We'll be watching our favorite Epiphany flick here at the Motherhouse, "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray, whose sister is an actual nun.

Check out the movie and see if you can spot Murray's "epiphany moment" signaling the end of his Purgatory in Punxsatawney.

In other news, many of you are aware that despite the relatively low collective I.Q. of our congressional representatives, a new bill requires that companion animals be included in the provisions of all disaster plans funded with federal (aka YOUR) tax dollars. For more on the bill and how it can help cats and dogs, click on over to the Humane Society's Web site.

Finally, Sister Jean did a lot of reading over the Christmas break, and she promises to post a book report next month in the Lectionary.

Chapter meeting for October

Don't forget that Oct. 4 is the feast day of the Sisters' patron, St. Francis of Assisi. Animal blessings and prayers are in our Prayer Room (link at right).

Some special hymns have been added to our Hymnal (link at right) to allow the Sisters and friends to make a joyful noise on behalf of all animals and their Creator.

And what's a feast day without a feast? Or at least a real nice coffee break. So check out the biscotti and coffee now being served in our Refectory (link at right). Maybe have a cuppa while browsing the links to the blogs of real nuns, now featured in our Lectionary (link at right).

Our new friend in heaven
One of St. Francis' newest helpers in heaven is, we hope, Steve Irwin, late of "Animal Planet." Steve waxed enthusiastic about the animals most of us would run screaming away from if we found them lurking under the zucchini leaves. Steve was, frankly, something of a dumb ass, but those who love animals truly and deeply are often seen as a quart low in the brains department. SanFran himself was often called God's Fool.

This tribute to Steve is making the rounds on e-mail, and the Sisters ask that you remember him in your special St. Francis Day prayers:

At the Rainbow Bridge

At the Rainbow Bridge, pets await their beloved owners. There are plenty of things to keep them contented while they wait: trees you can't get stuck in, endless meadows, splashing streams, thickets perfect to hide in for pounce-attack games.

But one day the residents noticed some rather unusual newcomers arrive. The koalas and the kangaroos slipped in rather quietly, but then came the bearded dragons, the skinks and the goannas.

The influx of snakes startled an entire family of cats up a tree. Pythons, cobras, tiger snakes, brown snakes and even fierce snakes. There were so many at one point, it seemed the ground itself was alive with writhing.

A burly wombat shouldered his way through the crowd and plopped down in a shady spot, barely missing a Jack Russell terrier who yapped indignantly as he abandoned his position.

And then the crocodiles showed up.

Finally, a Great Dane managed to get up enough nerve to approach one of the reptillian giants. "Um, excuse me," he said hesitantly. "But why are you all here?"

The croc dropped her jaw and laughed. "Same as you, mate," she said. "Waitin' for someone who loved us."

The dogs, cats, gerbils and other "typical pets" looked at each other in confusion, then at the plethora of weird, ugly and downright deadly creatures assembled. Who on Earth could possibly love some of those faces?

"I see him!" shouted a green mamba from his vantage point in one of the trees. A cacophony of squeaks, hisses, bellows and roars erupted as the mob surged forward toward a lone human walking across the field toward the bridge. The other animals managed to catch a glimpse of him before he was overwhelmed by the crowd.

"CRIKEY!" he shouted joyously right before he was bowled over by the wombat.

"Well I'll be," said a Persian as she tidied up her fur. "It's that Aussie my human liked to watch on TV. Had to be the craziest human on the whole planet."

"Oh, please," remarked an echidna as he hurried by. "Is it really that crazy to passionately love something God made?"

God Bless Steve Irwin at peace at the Rainbow Bridge.

Please leave your prayer requests in the "comments" box. You'll need to type in a random word before posting so that the blog isn't inundated with adverts for penis enlargements, homemade methamphetamine and cheap Viagra, none of which is needed by the Sisters at this time.

Chapter Meeting for September
Last year, the Little Sisters were praying for the people and animals caught in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. This year, we encourage visitors to the Virtual Mother House to read about the jazz funeral for lost pets in the New Orleans Area, and to find some way to support your Humane Society efforts to rescue animals after natural disasters.

Celebrate Sts. Giles, Nicholas and Guy of Anderlecht this month!
These three humble saints have special associations with horned animals and livestock. St. Nicholas of Tolentino, most tender-hearted of the three, was a vegetarian.

We've got a great recipe for St. Nicholas' bread over at the Refectory. Click the link at the upper right.

Also, please check out our Prayer Room to find a prayer to this month's Animal Friends in Heaven and to see or leave special prayer requests.

Please leave your prayer requests in the "comments" box. You'll need to type in a random word before posting so that the blog isn't inundated with adverts for penis enlargements, homemade methamphetamine and cheap Viagra, none of which is needed by the Sisters at this time.

Chapter Meeting for August

Pet heatstroke, moron pet owner alert
As temperatures soar in the 90s and above in many places around the nation, the Sisters urge you to guard your pets against heat stroke. Make sure animals have a cool room to rest in and plenty of water in their bowls.

Be on the look out for morons who are sitting inside in the a/c while Fido is outdoors tied in the sun. Call owners and suggest they provide shade and water. If they don't budge call the cops.

Animal cruelty is against the law.

This is also the season during which aforementioned morons like to take Doggie with them to the store and leave him in the hot car with windows rolled up. Take license plate numbers and ask the store manager to read the number over the intercom with a message that there is a dog in distress in the car.

Happy St. Rocco's Day
You can see by the Kalendar that St. Rocco's feast day is coming up mid-month. St. Rocco was a hospitaller who ministered to plague victims and was himself helped by a little dog. So the Sisters have made him the unofficial patron of animal helpers and seeing eye dogs as well.

Click on over to our Refectory for a nice polenta recipe you can make in your microwave in honor of St. R.

Trivia fact: In "The Godfather Part II" the Catholic church featured in the procession through Vito Corleone's Italian neighborhood in New York City was St. Rocco. St. Rocco is the patron saint of Italy.

Please leave your prayer requests in the "comments" box. You'll need to type in a random word before posting so that the blog isn't inundated with adverts for penis enlargements, homemade methamphetamine and cheap Viagra, none of which is needed by the Sisters at this time.

Chapter Meeting for July

Welcome to our new and improved Web site!
Sister Jean has been busy revamping the Virtual Convent. Pages under construction will be up soon. Feel free to leave a comment.

Prayer to St. James the Greater, patron saint of veterinarians, July 25
Dear St. James, watch over veterinarians and all who care for animals.
Give them the strength to pull a calf struggling to be born into life,
And the gentleness to help a frail old dog out of a life of pain.
Give them compassion for all animals, especially those who are fierce by nature,
Or made fierce by human cruelty.
Help them find words to comfort those who must say goodbye to a beloved pet,
And to correct those who have mistreated their animals.
Bless them for their daily acts of kindness and mercy,
And help them find grace in their vocation.
Amen.

Prefer to sing your praise to your vet? Open your cyber hymnal to “All Things Bright and Beautiful,” a favorite Anglican anthem. Everybody sing!

Our Friend in Heaven: St. Neot the Pygmy, July 31
St. Neot the Pygmy was a 9th Century monk at the abbey of Glastonbury, England, and kinsman to King Alfred the Great, who valued his counsel.

He was very small (hence “the pygmy”), probably about four feet tall, though legend sometimes makes him as small as 15 inches. He looks of average height in the stained-glass depiction of him (follow the link to St. Neot's site under our Kalendar at right); he's shown with the bishop, who seems to be handing him something (a fish?). )

Despite his small stature, St. Neot had been a soldier in Alfred’s army, but like many Anglo-Saxon warriors, had a change of heart and became a monk. He was reportedly devoted to helping the poor and spent a large part of his prayer time immersed up to his neck in a well.

And he had a special way with animals. Perhaps his tiny size made him seem less threatening and therefore better able to tend to small or baby creatures.

Please leave your prayer requests in the "comments" box. You'll need to type in a random word before posting so that the blog isn't inundated with adverts for penis enlargements, homemade methamphetamine and cheap Viagra, none of which is needed by the Sisters at this time.